random May e-mails from my mother

my mom writes the best e-mails... they're infrequent, but worth waiting for...

here is a very random selection of e-mails written in the month of May over the last 8 years or so.



May 30, 200?

Subject: tgif??

Hello - its Friday the last day of my holiday week and I have accomplished absolutely nothing that I had on my mental list of THINGS I MUST DO. Bummer dude or what. Its been bloody cold and rainy all week, but I did manage to spend 2 days in my bug suit filling up window boxes and tubs and doing quite a bit of weeding. High point of the week really. Ben is spending the day at home today. He committed a couple of majors this week so he has lost 2 weeks of beloved computer time and was not permitted to go on the school trip today (kicked a kid at school). Much waaaaahhhhh! Am off to do the cleaning stuff that I put off all week - just wanted to say ahola and hows it going cos it does seem like ages since I have. How's Andre? inquiringly yours, mummer xx


May 17, 200?

Subject: N E

My narchemesis (translation: my nephew's version of arch nemesis, which he informs my mother they are...) was here for a great sleepover and now we are on our way to his house for supper - delicious pulled pork a la Catherine. He had a great time wielding the "spatula of destiny|" all morning a long with some serious checker playing - he won every game, who knew? Super news about the flight - you will definitely be met by a raucous cheering section and potentially the aforementioned spatula. love must run xxxxxxxxxxx

May 26, 200?

Subject: Finally

Hi

Please phone soon

We had a lousy time in PG, except for visit with Kelly and Nigel....

Ben and Nigel did a lot of computer car racing - and did you know that one of Ben's favourite cars is a Jeep Cherryoakee - say it out loud, it works better - and also at Scouts on Monday, Ben's troop was playing Old Man and the Sea, a variation on British Bulldog. Ben did not ever get to be the old man and was always a fish - either a starfish or a tampon. Not sure if thats a reflection of increasing water pollution levels or (I suspect) a tarpon.

Please phone. I miss you. kiss kiss Mummer

May 2, 200?

Subject: FIRST MESSAGE ON OUR NEW COMPUTOR COMING YOUR WAY

Greetings Earthling!!!!!!

Ben: You know that old track that I got for Christmas , the race car one, well I managed to put that back together today. Its working great and I'm loving it!!! I'm still working on that cassette for you and Myk too. Also if you want any certain songs on it tell me on the next email. School is going great for me - my teacher's name is Mrs. Younger and she is very nice. I have 12 kids in my class altogether (that is including me)...

Loooooooooooove You ( peck peck peck)

Ben

JEN: okay there you have it - B's first e-note to you...I have finished the dreaded fosterparent bulltweet and although I should feel free and unencumbered I have a lot of Boy Scout BS to sort out. THEN I will feel much better about my organizational self.. Dad is off to Calgary tomorrow, Cath is nearly finished her term (Wednesday I think) and Ben gets his report card on Wed. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, now that we have christened the new computor I can email (nearly) every day to you - and I will. I'm sorta waiting at this very moment for you to phone so talk to you soon BIGTIMEOHYEAHLOVE mummer

May 8, 200?

Subject: gloom

Hi - quick note - Im feeling a tad eeyoreish today - Ben is having issues at school, its raining and Catherine is snarly that its making things uncomfortable. Are you frantically busy? Feels like I am but I don't really know why. kkiissss mummer

May 17, 200?

Subject: men!

Megs - I am horrendously sorry that I didn't get back to you in a screamin' hurry about the all encompassing issues with MEN. I'm actually at a loss of words and advice to be quite truthful about it all. I put it off for a few days to think about it and then I put it off again as it was virtually the weekend and I thought we could natter it over. Really though I'm a bit of an ostrich about love relationships.. I definitely DO NOT believe that the issue is yours but more that they are the losers. Is it too much to think that we can be admired loved adored cared for because we can think/articulate/act compassionately/haveestrogen moments/ and chew gum at the same time?

I have to say that the guy turned out to be a bit shallow and furtive did he not? What a dweeb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really Megs you have to go with your heart about the baby thing (note: I was not actually having a baby... I had simply been bemoaning my increasing age and continued singledom, and talking about the idea of getting too old to have kids, and maybe I should just plan to have one on my own...). Dad is panicking that I have said that to you - he's thinking of all the negative stuff about paternity custody and family pressures - but I think you are quite aware of what it entails and who you are..

anyways, as that knob Ben says, I am at home today having a bit of a mental health day so if you feel like phoning tonight I'd just love it. My heart is with you mummer xx