torti-wha?

so, after five days of nursing a painfully stiff and sore neck, i went to see the doctor today. aside from the fact that it really hurt and made simple things like tilting my head back to drink from a glass or checking my blindspot while changing lanes on the freeway really difficult.... i wasn't really worried.

until i got to the hospital and they started doing tests for meningitis.

then i got worried. i've lost loved ones (okay, just one) to meningitis. i don't want to lose me to meningitis....

fortunately, after two very anxious hours, it turns out that i don't have meningitis after all... i have torticollis.

torti-what? i say.... and the doc says "sign here for your narcotics" and sends me home.

so here i lay, on the couch... with heating pad under my sore head... waiting for 10:00 to roll around so i can pick my husband up from work... and then drift off into a stupor of painkillers and muscle relaxants...

wheeee!

(can't wait!!!!)

photo blog

i had to buy a "new" suitcase to bring it all home...

celebrating the fact...

today i am celebrating.

nothing major. nothing terribly exciting. but if it comes down to it and i decide to find things to celebrate in my life... there are certainly things to be celebrated.

so here goes:

i am celebrating the fact that i'm wearing long pants today. you may find this a strange thing to celebrate, but given the fact that i have spent most of the last three weeks wearing as little as i can possible get away with in public situations, and still felt cranky and miserable (and melty!) in the heat... being comfortable in cargo pants and a t-shirt is cause for celebration.

i'm celebrating the fact that my sweetheart is happy in his new job. not just okay with it. not just counting the days til his weekend. not just enjoying the change after 20 years in his last job.... he's happy. he looks forward to going back after his days off.

i'm celebrating the fact that i have inherited a shitload more yarn (working on your scarf, Wiggs!)... this time from my grandmother, who is no longer around to use it. i might find it hard to give away the items i make from it, but for the moment there's enough here for me to make a pile on the floor and roll around in it. i'm not sure my grandmother would approve, but i'm sure she would appreciate the pleasure it gives me to feel so close to her when i'm surrounded by her things.

i'm celebrating the fact that i am blessed with lovely people in my life... great friends and family that i love, and that love me.... even if they are scattered about the planet.

i'm celebrating the fact that i'm going to find a great job. someday.

and just like waiting for the great guy, it will be worth the wait in the end.

i'm celebrating the fact that i have almost completed fundraising for my upcoming marathon... and i'm celebrating the fact that i am capable of running it. (sixteen mile training run tomorrow morning, folks!)

i'm celebrating the fact that my coffee turned out just right, my toast is crispy and fragrant, and i have the time to relax and enjoy them.

follow my bliss...

follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....


peaceful? yes...

soothing? yes...

blissful? not quite...




follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....

tempting!!!!
momentarily rapture... but not bliss.

follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....

Oh blissful moments... but not mine to keep.

follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....

FUN!!

but not bliss exactly

follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....

JOY!

follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....

CONTENTMENT

follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....




NOSTALGIA





follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss....

LOVE












all wonderful things for which i am truly grateful... but they say that to find one's path in life (and by path i mean purpose and by purpose i mean job....), one must follow one's bliss.

and so, i seek to follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, mutter mutter mutter, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, mutter mutter, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, follow my bliss, where the hell is my bloody bliss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???

I'm going to find it one of these days.

today's a crying sort of day...

today is one of those days were it seems pretty much everything is destined to set me off...

walk out the front door and it is 80 degrees and so humid that it feels like i just stepped into a steamy sauna... and i'm so overwhelmed and depressed by the heat that i cry (and put off my morning run).

no matter how i bend or twist the power cord for my laptop, it's just not going to light up for me... so i curse in frustration and then i cry.

husband is thrown off when i ask if i can have the truck for the day, five minutes before he's scheduled to leave for work, and he gets a little snappy... and i tear up a little.

husband brings my hand to his lips by way of apology in the truck a few minutes later, and i cry.

new power cord costs twice the upper limit of what i had imagined it might cost to replace the old one... and although i don't cry, i do feel just a little deflated.

letter from the tax-man waiting for me when i get home... seems they've adjusted my claim for me, and i now owe them some money.... more cursing and tears.

fortunately, netflix has delivered so i settle down on the couch for a soothing afternoon of movie watching (procrastinating on the daily job searching)... but wouldn't you know it, the movie was really sad... like, i need to find a box of kleenex sad.

so, to cheer myself up, i went online to look for jobs for a while. i'm once again facing the dilemna of not really knowing how to market myself, inspite of having recently finished my degree... at the moment i'm applying for anything that looks even remotely interesting... no matter what field. sadly, there was nothing inspirational to be found this afternoon. (gloom, gloom, gloom)

gave up on job hunting and read some blogs (insert a few tears here)

dinner time, husband is working weird shifts and isn't home so i'm free to cook whatever i feel like eating... we had fresh corn handy, so i cooked up a couple ears and made a big salad. i'm trying to lose some of the weight i gained over the five weeks of all-day-classes and parties that made up my Canadian vacation.... so instead of eating sweet delicious corn smothered in butter, which is how i like it, i find myself standing over the sink eating sweet boring naked corn and thinking that life just sucks... and crying.

fucking pms.