having gratitude problems...

i've be very grumpy lately...

part of it is the infernal heat and humidity.

part of it is the stress of the house situation, which has not changed even slightly since last i wrote...

part of it is the "eternally unemployed doldrums"

all of the above mentioned parts have put a bit of a strain on my relationship with my husband... which has led to further grumpiness. and some weepiness.


and so, even though i've a lot to be grateful for... rather than sharing those things with you, i've been wallowing in my grump.


this will change.

yes, i'm grateful - day 10

and with this post... i am finally caught up.

huzzah!


so... my husband has this gift for knowing what people need to hear. i don't know how he does it, but he can turn a hostile and defensive government employee into a friendly face on the turn of a dime.

we had a meeting scheduled with the Health Dept this morning... to discuss the logistics of altering our screened porch and deck so that they might meet the state standards (and so we don't have to tear them down)... when i made the appointment over the phone, she had seemed very pleasant. accommodating and helpful, at least.

but from the moment we walked in the door this morning she was on the attack. and i felt attacked! here we are, trying to make right the situation... trying to fix it so that she's happy, the state and county officials are happy... and we have a home that is safe to live in. and rather than just sit down and say "this is what you need to do..." she started yelling about all the things we have not yet done. things that have not been in our control.

it made me feel like a child being scolded... small and helpless, confused and indignant... and not sure how to defend myself.

my husband, on the other hand, nodded, said things like "so what you're telling us is this...." and "we just need to know exactly what it is you need for us to do..." and "you should be having a lovely day, did you see that mountain of goodies out on the counter that someone brought in for you?"

that last comment stopped her in her tracks.
she had no idea what to say, or why he had brought it up.

two minutes later she's smiling, the two of them are having a laugh... and she's a whole new woman.


i am SO grateful he has this talent.... because i certainly don't!

yes, i'm grateful - day 9

chatted online with an old girl friend of mine last night. one that i have not seen in a little over ten years... we were snowboarding buddies, road tripping to music festivals buddies, housemates for a time... and then estranged friends for a time, because we both had some growing up to do.

in the years where we didn't really communicate, i really missed her. i missed the closeness and deep affection of our earlier friendship. i missed her laugh and her enthusiasm for spontaneous activity. i missed being needed by her, and i missed having her to rely on when i was in need. i regretted the hurtful things i had said and done... and the hurtful things that she had said and done receded from my memory.

and then along came Facebook and we found each other again.

she now lives in another country, as do i. we both moved to said "other country" because we followed our hearts there. she understands the feelings of isolation and longing for those familiar faces and places that i have been feeling.

our friendship is not as close as it once was, nor as intense. but there is something very rich and deep and satisfying about how it is evolving... and i am so grateful for that.

yes, i'm grateful - day 8

Sunday's moment of gratitude...

a couple of cool things happened yesterday. the first being the fact that there is a rather large hawk that has taken up residence in the trees around our place. my husband and i were out on the deck having our morning coffee, and it landed on the fence.

here he is, photo take two days later...

we were admiring its size and plumage, when suddenly it lifted off the fence and dropped like a stone, out of sight.

next thing we knew, it was sitting on the fence again... dining on some small creature that it held between its talons.

a little gruesome moment of gratitude, i suppose. but a rather clear demonstration of the circle of life... it's always good to be reminded of one's own mortality from time to time.

and, i don't mind if the hawk is taking care of critters that might become a nuisance in my home if allowed to run amok with nothing to keep them in check. better a hawk than having to lay down rat poison, i say...


on a cheerier note, we had a bit of a 4th of July party. about half of the people who said they were coming didn't, in fact, show up. so it was a small but lively group of people.... with far too much to eat and drink.

and it was good.


and i have left-overs for lunch today. also good.

yes, i'm grateful - day 7

behind again! ack!!

okay, Saturday's post...

got up early (as usual on Saturday mornings when in training)... drove to Burke Lake to meet 9 other TNT folk (we were scheduled to run on our own due to the holiday)... and it was not only lovely and cool, but CHILLY even!! heavenly!

had a thoroughly enjoyable run, and then came home and woke up the household. i don't even remember now what i did on Saturday, aside from a little lounging on the couch with my sweetheart, and some general tidying up.

but if i can't remember anything to complain about, it had to be a good day, right?
so, i'm grateful for that.

yes, i'm grateful - day 6

it was lovely and cool again yesterday morning... and i got up early to meet my favourite former TNT coach for a 5 mile run around the lake.  i haven't seen him since the end of April, and we've never hung out  outside of TNT events, so it was really nice to catch up with no distractions.

he also runs faster than i do, so i was surprised to find myself back at the parking lot much quicker than usual...


then, on my way to pick up my sweetheart from work, i stopped in at a "new to me" garden centre on the way. most of the garden centres near me are a little bigger, but this one was surprisingly well stocked, with very good looking plants (the ones near me are pretty picked over, and a lot of the smaller plants look worse for wear after all this heat)... so it was really nice to find a place that still seems fresh and healthy.

and they have chickens running around all over the place! i guess the owners live next door, and when you look into their back yard, they have geese and chickens... and it just had such a great feel about the place.


what a great start to my day.

yes, i'm grateful - day 5

it is lovely and cool today... sun is still shining, but the humidity has dropped and I'M LOVING IT!!!!!!

yes, i'm grateful - day 4

i spent a few hours volunteering at the Life With Cancer Family Centre Monday afternoon.
every time i am there i am reminded how precariously we are balanced on the edge of "good health," and at any moment we could drop.

all those children who have been affected by cancer... either they have it, their brother or sister has it, a parent has it.... and it's not as though they have done anything to bring it on themselves. it's not like they were ever smokers... for example.

i have had my ups and downs with my health, but for the most part, i'm doing pretty well. and i'm so grateful for that.

yes, i'm grateful - day 3

♪♫♪ Sunday Sunday... so good to me  ♪♫♪

it was stinking hot when i woke up... and although i had had some illusions of "getting stuff done," they quickly went out the window. 

Sunday was a day for lounging, curled up on the couch in the air conditioning, enjoying a cup of coffee with my hung over husband.... long chats on skype with friends... watching the soccer game with the roommate (who just got back from playing soccer in France, incidentally)... i didn't even cook dinner!

so a lazy day altogether. and i loved it.

yes, i'm grateful - day 2

okay... playing catch up now...

daily gratitude didn't last long now did it!!


so, gratitude from Saturday:

started the day with a 7 mile run with Team In Training.... we met at 7am, and i was no only on time, but fifteen minutes early. normally i roar into the parking lot moments before we're supposed to already be on the trail. so i'm grateful for getting there on time.

it was a relatively cool morning, though horrendously humid. but in spite of the sweat pouring off of me, some trail side sign told me i was looking good!!

my husband got home from work not too long after i got home from my run, and while he slept i found some shady spots to get some yard work done.

when he woke up, we went to have a glass of wine with a colleague of his.... and stayed for four bottles! i was designated driver, but enjoyed their drunken company (which isn't always the case when drunk and sober mingle)...

so an altogether pleasant day  :o)

yes, i'm grateful - day 1

it's quiet here this morning.... the little red dog and i were out and about before the sun hit full force... you know, barking at squirrels and watering the plants.

ask and ye shall receive, it seems.

i posted a little note on Facebook a couple nights ago about missing far away friends, because i've been feeling quite lonely the last few weeks. yesterday i had an e-mail with a phone number for an old friend that i've not seen in about two decades, and we have a phone date for the weekend. this morning i had letters in the mail... and an hour long phone call with a friend who's just had a baby and for the first time in ages had time to talk.

i feel re-connected.

funny how little it takes.

i think it's time...

to do another month of gratitude postings, because i'm feeling decidedly ungrateful these days.


GRATITUDE THIS WAY COMES!!!.......... starting tomorrow 'cos i'm really too grumpy to think of any to get the ball rolling tonight.

fairy lights...

i have never lived in a place where fireflies lived, until i moved to Virginia...  last summer we were in a pretty urban area, and i got all excited to see the odd one here or there, but here in the wilds of the new home... we have SERIOUS fireflies!!

my husband calls them lightning bugs...

there's something quite magical about them... little green glows, popping up here and there, flashing on for a moment and then off again, like morse code.

i wonder what they're telling each other... is it like the bee dance, indicating the good gathering grounds?



i was just out taking the dog for his last stroll of the day, and as i walked down our road there were a cluster of trees that were lit up like they were strung with the daintiest of blinking Christmas lights.

t-t-t-tuner!

a couple years ago, not long after my husband announced our engagement to his parents... his dad found a piano at an estate sale, and haggled the sellers down from $125 to $100 -- for the piano and bench, a little piano top lamp and a metronome...

which he then stored in the back of his SUV for a couple weeks until we went for a visit and he was able to surprise me with his gift.

i was thrilled and delighted, as i used to play but have not had a piano in my home since i left home to go to university. lets just say that it has been more than a decade... and i was delighted that he was so excited to have found this lovely gift for me, the daughter-in-law to be...

who knows how long it sat neglected before he bought it, but it has been moved three times since then... and although everything technically works, it is dreadfully out of tune.

and so... the tuner comes today.


yippeee!

tick, tick, tick, tick...

so, the little red dog and i were out in the back yard for several hours yesterday.

he was eating acorns, and possibly some bugs... and then napping in a pile of leaves, and i was pulling weeds. i felt a little pinch on my arm, and gave it a swat thinking it was just one amongst many mosquitos biting... and then it pinched again, so i had a closer look.

and it was a little reddish-brown tick... looking suspiciously like a freckle on my arm. i tried to smear him off (aka, kill him) but seconds later he was continuing his march across my wrist to find a tender place to make himself (or herself, i suppose) comfortable. it took several attempts to get him off of me, and then i mushed him between two rocks until i was sure he wouldn't just bounce back again.

i decided it was time to go in and have a shower... only to feel that pinch again, this time inside my shirt... on my stomach.

might i just say "ew. ew. ew. ew. ew!"

this one came off easier, thank goodness. but as i was about to take the dog inside, it occurred to me that he'd been lounging in the same tick-infested woods that i had been working in.... and since the ticks were tiny and pretty much exactly the same colour as his fur... i took the brush to him for a good hour before letting him into the house.

his owner left mediation to put on his skin once a month to deter (aka kill) ticks and fleas and lice and other such nuisances.... so i'm not so worried about him.

but i am wondering if they make a similar product for us humans (cos there are parts of me that i just can't see, and wouldn't you just know it but i can feel things crawling on me there right now!)

things that make me happy

right now, at this very moment, i'm feeling pretty happy.

• the sun is shining, but it is still cool outside
• the birds are singing on all sides of the house
• the coffee turned out juuuust right this morning (you know how sometimes it's good and sometimes it's great? today it's divine)
• after a nice long walk, the little red dog is curled up by the front door snoozing
• i'm not too stiff and sore from Sunday's half marathon, but i'm booked in for a massage in an hour anyway
• my sweetheart and i went out for dinner with some friends on Sunday, and then lounged over coffees in their back yard. they have a beautiful little pond full of simple plants and goldfish, and i'm feeling re-inspired about getting the work on my flower beds done.
• i ordered some piano music online, and it has arrived.... and the piano tuner is coming later this week. so i am committed to getting back to playing.

best visit home ever....

in point form

1. mom had absolutely no idea that we were coming... and was overwhelmed to see us

2. Blue Nose (half) Marathon was an absolute hoot.

3. golfing with four generations... loved it!














4. bumped into old friends that i'd not seen in close to a decade... very unexpected, and wonderful.

sad to say goodbye this morning... but also delighted to see my sweetheart.

i am not a violent person... i'm just having violent feeeeelings!

okay, so i need to vent a little.

this has been a long time coming, and i'm afraid that if i don't do a little precautionary venting now, the whole thing might explode later on, and i'll be the next spewing oil well in the Gulf of Mexico.... only somewhat human.

so, here's the deal.

we bought a house six months ago. you knew that.

a few days before we closed on the sale, the builder informed us that there might be an issue with the above ground pool and part of the deck... something about them being to close to the septic system, but he promised he would "make it right"... and so we bought the house anyway.

after the fact, we find out there there is no "might be" involved here. he's received notice from the health department that the pool and the deck and a few other things are in violation of the health code and misc other building codes and permits and piles of building debris and GAH!!! does it never end????

still, we have in writing that he's going to make things right. he's going to remove the pool and deck at his own expense, and compensate us for the loss...... but he's going to take his sweet time about it.

meanwhile we have visits from the county zoning department, who inform us that the cute little shed in front of the house (which is strangely wired for internet, but barely big enough to stand up in) is in violation of county regulations and has to be removed.

then phone calls and letters from the health department take place to discuss the plans for removing the offending items....

finally the former owner comes to the house, after several missed appointments (because he got help up, or it was raining, or it might snow...), takes the back of a hammer to the side of the above ground pool... rips a hole in it and drains thousands of gallons of stagnant water out in to the neighbour's yard.

like us, the neighbour is on well water.... and is not impressed with the inches of stinky pool water now sitting in a pond around his well.

he's screaming mad, in fact....

but having put said hole in the pool, the former owner is now long gone.... so i got the screaming neighbour full force in my face.

once the pool was finally removed, there were just two small offending items left to be resolved... two supporting posts for the screened in porch and upper deck.... they just have to be moved. he promised to draw up plans for us to submit to the county.... and once approved, he would do the work.

haven't heard a peep out of him in weeks....

was just in the process of writing him a WTF e-mail this afternoon, when there was a knock on my door....

and it's a new person from another department of the county building development office, come to inform us that the former owner never applied for an occupancy permit, which is a criminal offense...

how does a man who builds homes for a living not have enough brains to get the appropriate building permits and inspections as he builds his own home?????

WTF, my friends ????!!!!!!

i really want to know!

fortunately, the criminal part of this particular offense does not transfer to us. but we still have to take care of getting the appropriate permits... and the kind gentleman who dropped by today kindly and gently informed me that even from just standing in the back yard looking at the house, there are structural issues that would have to be resolved before we could get approval from the building inspector to even apply for the occupancy permit.


we bought a fucking lemon.

i love our house... it's not its fault that it was built by a moron, but it is a lemon nonetheless.

three things i love about camping...

whiskey around the campfire....

morning coffee around the campfire... 

lounging in the hammock with a book and not feeling like there is anything else i should be doing at that very moment...

the ants came marching two by two...

anyone know how to get rid of ants that have built an enormous nest right around the edge of your well cover?

since it is literally on top of my drinking water, i can't use anything too toxic....

help!