i am not a violent person... i'm just having violent feeeeelings!

okay, so i need to vent a little.

this has been a long time coming, and i'm afraid that if i don't do a little precautionary venting now, the whole thing might explode later on, and i'll be the next spewing oil well in the Gulf of Mexico.... only somewhat human.

so, here's the deal.

we bought a house six months ago. you knew that.

a few days before we closed on the sale, the builder informed us that there might be an issue with the above ground pool and part of the deck... something about them being to close to the septic system, but he promised he would "make it right"... and so we bought the house anyway.

after the fact, we find out there there is no "might be" involved here. he's received notice from the health department that the pool and the deck and a few other things are in violation of the health code and misc other building codes and permits and piles of building debris and GAH!!! does it never end????

still, we have in writing that he's going to make things right. he's going to remove the pool and deck at his own expense, and compensate us for the loss...... but he's going to take his sweet time about it.

meanwhile we have visits from the county zoning department, who inform us that the cute little shed in front of the house (which is strangely wired for internet, but barely big enough to stand up in) is in violation of county regulations and has to be removed.

then phone calls and letters from the health department take place to discuss the plans for removing the offending items....

finally the former owner comes to the house, after several missed appointments (because he got help up, or it was raining, or it might snow...), takes the back of a hammer to the side of the above ground pool... rips a hole in it and drains thousands of gallons of stagnant water out in to the neighbour's yard.

like us, the neighbour is on well water.... and is not impressed with the inches of stinky pool water now sitting in a pond around his well.

he's screaming mad, in fact....

but having put said hole in the pool, the former owner is now long gone.... so i got the screaming neighbour full force in my face.

once the pool was finally removed, there were just two small offending items left to be resolved... two supporting posts for the screened in porch and upper deck.... they just have to be moved. he promised to draw up plans for us to submit to the county.... and once approved, he would do the work.

haven't heard a peep out of him in weeks....

was just in the process of writing him a WTF e-mail this afternoon, when there was a knock on my door....

and it's a new person from another department of the county building development office, come to inform us that the former owner never applied for an occupancy permit, which is a criminal offense...

how does a man who builds homes for a living not have enough brains to get the appropriate building permits and inspections as he builds his own home?????

WTF, my friends ????!!!!!!

i really want to know!

fortunately, the criminal part of this particular offense does not transfer to us. but we still have to take care of getting the appropriate permits... and the kind gentleman who dropped by today kindly and gently informed me that even from just standing in the back yard looking at the house, there are structural issues that would have to be resolved before we could get approval from the building inspector to even apply for the occupancy permit.


we bought a fucking lemon.

i love our house... it's not its fault that it was built by a moron, but it is a lemon nonetheless.